You messed up! Now what?
You messed up! Now what? by Kirsten Long
Part of the human condition is that we make mistakes. Sometimes quite bad ones... Sometimes disastrous ones… Sometimes we are sure we can never look anyone in the eye ever again….
Once ‘it’ has happened, it’s in the past. If you are aware that you messed up, there are some steps you can take to move forward:
1) Quit beating yourself up. I can obsess about my mistakes for days, weeks and even years. Unfortunately repeating the event over and over and playing what-if scenarios over and over in your mind doesn’t really serve you well. This strategy keeps you stuck. Rather take some action: first thing every day, write about what you did, beat yourself up on the paper, write down all the bad things you are saying to yourself, how terrible you feel, all the “what-ifs”. Then tear up the page and throw it away. During the day, if you start beating yourself up, stop, and assure yourself that you will have time the next day to beat yourself up again, but now is not the time. Do something more productive. Then write again the next day. Keep this up every day until you stop beating yourself up.
2) Think about what you have learnt from this experience. Become aware of how you compromised your value system. Write down all the things you have learnt. Now make up a new rule for your life as you go forward. Make sure it’s in positive terms. Write it up on your wall, on your computer or in your phone – somewhere where you will see it daily. Live the new rule. For instance, if you lost a deal because you procrastinated, your new rule could be: “Act as soon as I feel excited about a deal” or “Follow my intuition”
3) Make amends. Make a list of all the people who have been hurt or compromised in the process. Decide how you can make amends – a letter, an apology, some other practical action? Ask them how you could make amends. Swallow your pride, get our there wherever necessary and apologise and make amends.
4) Decide how to move forwards. Spend some time thinking about what your next step is. Set up a mini-action plan and do one thing from it every day.
Following these 4 steps will move you closer to self-forgiveness and towards making amends. Ultimately you will move you forwards again. The sooner you take action to fix what has happened, the sooner you will be able to put your experience behind you. The fact that you messed up is not nearly as important as how you will fix the mess. Take action today.
Never say, "oops." Always say, "Ah, interesting." ~Author Unknown
All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes Winston Churchill
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps
Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
Life Coaching : Coaching is about empowering you to find your own answers. Coaching encourages and supports you as you make important choices about your life’s journey. As you discover and learn about yourself, your awareness increases and you start making different choices. In this way you end up improving your performance, your relationships and your life! Contact Kirsten today on 082 801 7513 , This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or go to the website
