I decided last year to finish a degree I had started in my 20's and I often think I bit off a bit more than I could chew. But to give myself credit I am still hard at the studies. On Tuesday I finished writing the last of my mid year exams.
While I was studying (in between working & family commitments etc) I wondered what possessed me to start studying again. And for the life of me I just couldn't remember. Isn't it strange how one always ponders on such issues in the midst of the situation, when there is no turning back. I recall having had similar feelings when I fell pregnant for the second and third times! These types of feelings always arise when you are feeling a bit low, or when you can't see your way clear. Usually it happens when you simply have no time to do things as well as you would like.
I don't know the name of these feelings but I am sure they should have a name, powerful feelings that they are. Perhaps I can call them the " Oh Drat " feelings. I am sure there will be times when the word " drat " will be replaced with some other four letter word.
Anyway, in our weakest moments we often have this dreaded " Oh drat " feeling. Then we wonder if we have what it takes and quickly forget our initial motivation. That can be scary.
It's also scary having children, and the responsibility of looking after kids can be overwhelming.
When you next have one of these " Oh Drat " moments please don't head for the hills, rather take a deep breath and recognise the moment for what it is. It is just a moment, and it will soon pass, if you let it. It could become a defining moment, one which you will look back at someday and say "Wow I don't know how but I managed to get through that", or it could be a moment you would rather forget. That's up to you. Life gives us these moments and it also gives us the ability to forgive ourselves for mistakes or to feel great about our accomplishments.
The other great thing about parenting is kids themselves, especially the fact that they love you even when you make mistakes.
In life all we can do is our best, even if it's not always as good as we would like. That's what I have learned in my parenting experience.